It’s fair to say that the last two or three weeks have been a rollercoaster of highs and lows, of learning and self realisation, of discomfort and pain, and I have tried to record this in my blogs. Who ever came up with the idea for these was a genius, it gives us lucky few who got a ballot place, to reflect and share (probably overshare at times) but yesterday I was told by one reader that they were very relatable. I guess that those of us on the same path, same targets, the training is similar so the impacts and effects must have their similarities. 

This last weeks training hasn’t gotten any easier or any less eventful. Monday’s club run was tough. After Sundays 31km my legs were super tired, my breathing was laboured and the whole loop felt like a chore. I need to apologise to AJ who started running with me trying to spark a conversation which I just could not reciprocate. Trying to answer questions and be part of the discussion was not helping how I was feeling. Chatty runs just aren’t for me right now.

Tuesday was easy enough, S&C in the gym which is literally 90s walk away so I really have no excuses for not going anymore. Hills was the plan Jenny had in Training Peaks for me on Wednesday but a late running meeting and the tube strikes scuppered that idea so it was back in the gym and replicate the intervals as a HIIT session on the rowing machine, maybe the treadmill would have been a more appropriate choice but I’m new to this gym and their equipment and my brain function wasn’t there to try and figure out how to work hills on to these machines.

Thursday was a rest day, and that’s exactly what I did. I used it to sort out the details for the Kingston Spring Raceday I had entered. Sort out what I wanted to be wearing, make sure it was washed and ready, plan the trip there and workout what time I needed to be up so I could fuel and be ready on the day. So far so good, the week had been eventful but no knocks in confidence yet, no new pains, no more tired than the week before. Then Friday’s interval session put pay to that. It’d been one of those long weeks at work, the kind when you are glad to get it over with and get out the door to start the weekend. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected it to go well, maybe I’d have been better to go home, take an hour or so to relax and then do the session but I headed straight out of work into Hyde Park. 

The session was a 4k-2.5k-1.5k with 2min easy between the intervals so I was just going to use the route Runthrough use for their races seeing as I was familiar with it. I did a little 1.5k warm up and felt awful, took a little pause at the bandstand to stretch out and then launched into the first interval. So hard. Legs were sore, tired. Knee was grumbling. I gritted my teeth and pushed through it wanting to put in the best effort I could muster but I already knew it wasn’t a consistent pace for the rep. The 2min easy recovery was a walk before trying the second rep. Halfway through I took a small pause to try and get my breathing and HR under control, drawing a look of disapproval from a passer by as I audible muttered “FFS!” I managed to get into the start of the third rep but called it early. Not perfect, not to plan, but the effort was there. I left hoping things would be different for the Parkrun on Saturday so I would go into Sunday on a better note.

It wasn’t. I felt like shit the whole way round, it was a chore just keeping the forward momentum. I didn’t scan, I had no patience or will to work out how to get the barcode up on the watch without stopping the run and I had the extra little bit to go home yet to round up to 7k so ran past the funnel and straight out the park in the direction of my shower.

So Sunday was the Kingston Spring Raceday, for me it would be 16 miles. After the last few weeks and the last couple of days in general I was not looking forward to this. It was great seeing the small flock of eagles before joining the start pen. I headed to the back of the pack, behind the slowest pacer, just needed to get this 28k done.

Was it 28k? Is that what 16 miles equates to? Doesn’t sound right. That thought pretty much filled my mind for the first 5k of the run, my mind incapable of doing the maths. This took my mind off how I was generally feeling and by the time I got back to Kingston to start the second lap I was surprised at how good my breathing and HR felt. My knee was wrapped in a new compression sleeve and was perfectly happy being cuddled by this the whole way round. Gels were spot on, water station technique worked well. It dawned on me as I passed the pacer group that I was actually enjoying this! I relaxed into it, fixed my form and trotted on.

I saw a lot of the eagles I had seen at the start on this lap because of the out and back loop for those running the 20 miles and as I jogged into the finish I saw Sada at the side taking photos with her phone. Squeezed between a reversing ambulance and the barriers I raised my arms to wave, I’d actually enjoyed this run, and in doing so almost took the head off a screaming Serpie runner who was sprinting in to the finish line.

This race has ended up boosting my confidence ahead of the big day. I look back at the ‘crappy’ few weeks, the tough runs, the failed reps and realise they aren’t fails, they are all part of building towards something bigger. The effort is there, the desire is there and determination to get this done certainly seems to be. I go back and read my own blogs, check the graphs on Training Peaks and Strava, and I can see all of these are little wins on the road to London. Sometimes I just need to step back to see that.